Rupert Loydell
- Pamenar Press
- Jul 13
- 4 min read
Updated: Jul 18
Rupert Loydell is the editor of Stride and a contributing editor to International Times. He has many books of poetry in print, including The Age of Destruction and Lies, Dear Mary, The Return of the Man Who Has Everything, Wildlife and Ballads of the Alone, all published by Shearsman, who also published Encouraging Signs, a book of essays, articles and interviews. He has co-authored many collaborative works, and edited anthologies for Knives Forks & Spoons Press, Shearsman, and Salt. He also writes about post-punk music, pedagogy, poetry and film for academic journals and books.
APOCRYPHAL TENDENCIES
I feel the need to
be enmeshed in the exhibition
of the present
in order to better examine it
feel the need to
find context from reliable sources
for the state of
subjective experience
I feel the need to
have something that I do not have
especially what
I have no actual use for
feel the need to
go out and play
be influenced by
a passive voice
I feel the need to
consciously experience need
which may relate to
deprivation or discrepancy
feel the need to
know what I've done wrong
so I sit still
and make a phantom pilgrimage
I feel the need to
measure the square footage
in order to calculate
how much of anything is required
feel the need to
correct the deficiencies
of my community
but you must not feel obliged
I feel the need to
obtain objective evidence
need to discuss
opening up to new experiences
feel the need to
change mentally and physically
am susceptible
to the growth of mould
I feel the need to
follow the crooked path to
the gingerbread house
and find out where I belong
feel the need to
exert a demanding influence
didn't have
my chance last time
I feel the need to
know everything
it is like waking up
with no teeth in your mouth
feel the need to
make the necessary changes
those people
should be replaced soon
I feel the need to
carry out patch repairs
don't need surgery
to correct it straight away
feel the need to
manage my symptoms at home
before I end up as
a pile of old bones
I feel the need to
keep myself safe
by understanding
what is available
feel the need to
keep momentum going
cannot overestimate
the importance of words
DISSOLVING THE BOUNDARY
'Change can be a noun, but then it needs a subject
or object, so we still have more questions'
– Marcia Reed, 'What Is Fluxus?'
After this introduction the concert
Bubbles blown out of various instruments
Cultural upheaval and self-reflection
Deliberately ahistorical posturing
Ephemeral moments of everyday life
Forms of music challenging social boundaries
Glitches between past and present
Hearing the water dreaming
Identity and ideology in representation
Junkyard skirmishes and kinetic sculptures
Knowing performances and organized events
Learn to listen and your life will change
More of a shared attitude than an art movement
Networks of artists and musicians
Obscure books and journals
Publications by pseudononymous individuals
Quantum-indeterminate electronic noise
Reconfiguring and redefining the rules
Shaking hands becomes elegant nonsense
Temporal disconnects between subject and object
Utopian understanding of the implications
Vanishing into the night
Words reproducing themselves
Xerox as an aesthetic device
Yellow tulips set on the living room table
Zero calibration and no zero drift
STRUCTURAL DISINTEGRATION
The symphony of the nervous system
bothered Cage; he wanted silence.
How did that incident impact?
'Extend or modify or disrupt space,'
he wrote in his journal. 'Make use of
everything from the interstellar void.'
It is safer to talk about beginnings
than endings, easier to stay in the dark
than steer your way into creative light.
You should without exception be
able to answer yes to any question
that illuminates narrative experience
and slows down time. Learn to embrace
endless flashbacks and temporal distance,
adopt defamiliarizing writing practices
which can be folded into a dissident
bricolage to stimulate debate and
endless interpretation. The idea is
to force the reader to try and outrun
their own thoughts and expectations,
to navigate doubt and disorientation.
Language will always be a protagonist,
otherwise there would be no conflict,
no disambiguation or sense of closure.
Consciousness and life are a lot
like writing, although they might
work better as a graph or painting.
In addition to change and forward
momentum, popular phraseology
and perfect reasoning will shape
versions of yourself for the shellshock
we call the future. Get into the habit
of writing down words you can live with,
then reacquaint yourself with glitches
and surprise events. Have the capacity
to be amoral, and never mention death.
THE LIST GOES ON
'Find a little space so we move in-between
And keep one step ahead of yourself'
– Talking Heads, 'Born Under Punches (The Heat Goes On)'
A list is an ordered collection of values,
an abstract that represents a finite number.
A list is the most versatile datatype available,
an ordered and changeable sequence of objects.
A list is important as it stores all kinds of information
which can be used for tracking ownership and progress.
A list is a collection of records that you want
to catalyse action for conservation and policy change.
A list is an ordered structure with elements separated,
equivalent to arrays in other language.
A list is information displayed in logical formation,
each item associated with a number.
A list is a sequence which determines what gets done,
handles its arguments as if they described function.
A list is a collection of zero or more values
which helps you contain information and organize work.
A list is a simple and minimalist database view
which different people construct differently.
A list is a collection also known as a sequence
that you can use to store all your variables.
A list stores its information in contiguous memory,
comprehension is used to perform some operations.
A list is just a sequence of arranged elements
written, printed, or imagined one after the other.
A list that is empty means that there is nothing in the list.
Seek medical attention and make a list of possible outcomes.

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